Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Our Best Intentions Does Not Mean They Are Well Received by Ruth Utnage

Someone loses their job and you offer to help with money. That person disconnects and ends the relationship (platonic, let's say) leaving you to wonder what in the hell happened. You were literally just trying to be helpful and human.

Someone is having trouble coming out to their mother so you help them draft a letter to practice with. They go back and water down the language so they're not really coming out and you point it out to them and suddenly you are "overly critical of everything" and the friendship dies shortly afterward. You were literally just trying to be helpful and human.

Things like this happen and I often wonder what kind of person I would be if I adjusted to everyones idea of what I should be. It is strange to me how you could offer help that from your vantage point is clearly needed and lose a connection as a result. Especially in those scenarios where people have asked you for help. Tell somebody something they don't want to hear and suddenly it's ghost town USA.

How about instead we communicate? How about tell me, "hey, thanks for the offer but I'm all set, perhaps we can be on the lookout for other ways to help one another?"

Oh well...maybe I'm the crazy one, I am in therapy.

With Love
Ruth